Thursday, November 26, 2020

New Shop!


In between other design jobs, I decided to put together a Threadless Artist Shop. I’ve got some horror & pop culture designs available now, with more in the works.

T-shirts, socks, face masks, leggings, pillows, buttons, art prints, beach towels, phone cases, and more. Tons of colors! Tons of options!

And there’s currently a promotion featuring $12 shirts & up to 20% off everything else. Time to get some gifts!

You can check out the current selections at 13visions.threadless.com 

Friday, November 13, 2020

Casual Friday the 13th



To: Jay
From: Ralph
Subject: FGCS Office Standards
Date: Friday, November 13, 2020, 1:57 PM

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Jay,

It’s come to my attention that there have been some recent issues pertaining to our company’s dress code that need to be addressed. I understand that over the last several months your direct supervisor as well as her supervisor have been unable to get through to you regarding these matters, and seeing as how they’re no longer with us, things have made their way through the woods to me, so to speak.

I believe our policies here at Forest Green Camping Supplies, Inc. are crystal clear, but perhaps there is some confusion, so allow me to clarify a few things. Mondays through Thursdays, “business casual” attire (collared shirts, khakis or dress pants, etc.) is required. On Fridays, however, the dress code is somewhat relaxed, allowing for jeans, as well as shirts to be untucked (though not unkempt - there is a difference).

Our definition of “jeans”, however, does not include those denim overalls you sometimes wear, Jay. I understand Christy spoke to you about this some time ago, prior to her disappearance, but allow me to reiterate the point here. And when we say jeans, we mean no holes, no grass or mud stains, and so on. To be blunt, Jay, they really must be washed. Several of your Team Members have complained about dark stains, and the odors of sweat and iron on your clothing. So I’m afraid I really must insist that you do your laundry more frequently. If there’s a financial burden involved, please drop by my office and we can discuss.

The issue of face masks has come up as well. Now, I want to express my most sincere understanding with regard to our current situation. These are trying times, to say the least, and none of us know for sure how long we’ll all be affected by the current pandemic and the ways in which our lives have been altered. So while face masks are a mandatory part of our current workplace attire, I feel I must specify that ‘80s-style hockey goaltender masks are not appropriate for our office environment - not even on Fridays - and that’s not to mention the fact that they don’t offer the same level of protection against airborne pathogens as tightly-woven cotton masks do. I understand Christy’s supervisor Steve attempted to bring this up with you as well, prior to his unexpected retirement last month, but I really must insist that you leave the sports equipment at home.

Likewise, over-the-head burlap sacks are also unacceptable. From what I’ve been told, I understand you have a history of body dysmorphia issues, and I empathize with that, but I believe we are able to emote quite a bit from the eyes up, so I would ask that the top half of your head not be obscured for the sake of your colleagues and any suppliers you might need to liaise with.

By the way, if you’re interested in discussing your feelings with regard to your appearance with someone, I would highly recommend Dr. Ginny, our in-house counselor. If you’d like to make an appointment to see her, you can do so in the online portal.

In the meantime, please wear a face mask that covers only your nose and mouth like everybody else. As I’m sure you know, we do offer face masks with the FGCS logo at cost to all employees, but again, if the pricing is a hindrance for you, please see me, and I’ll look into what can be done.

And speaking of Dr. Ginny, I’m told several Team Members have met with her recently to discuss not only your lack of verbal communication, but also your habit of keeping a machete at your side while moving around the office (I know you’re going to ask who, but please don’t). This too seems highly inappropriate, and I’m going to have to ask that you, at the very least, leave any bladed or pointed weapons you’ve brought to work inside your cubicle at all times. Such things can be construed as intimidating by others, not to mention dangerous. Let me remind you that we recently restarted our X Days Without An Accident signage, and I’d like to see that number at least hit double digits before having to start it over again.

Jay, I appreciate your understanding and compliance in all of this. I believe that when we all work together as a team, we can create a better and more efficient workplace. It’s all about synergy, really. I hope we can all be “happy campers” here, if you’ll pardon the pun.

I trust that by next Friday you’ll be able to start adhering to company guidelines, but if there are any concerns you don’t think can be resolved by then, feel free to come talk to me. I’m pretty easy to track down most days after lunch.

Have a great weekend.

Sincerely,

C. Ralph Cunningham
CEO
Forest Green Camping Supplies, Inc.

Thursday, April 16, 2020

Thunderstorm! Decibel! Crazytimes!

Hi. How are things? I sincerely hope you’re all staying safe and healthy and sane. It’s a strange moment in time, to say the least.

I wanted to drop in here with some little updates, since - despite the somewhat apocalyptic feel of things out there - a number of interesting developments have happened in the last several weeks.

First of all, my book Triple Axe recently received the limited edition hardcover treatment from Thunderstorm Books. This is the first time one of my books has gotten a hardcover edition, and I couldn’t be happier with the result. The jacket art is by Erik Wilson, whose art I’ve admired for years. Sadly, this edition is sold out. Being part of Thunderstorm’s Black Voltage Private Reserve series, most of the 36 copies (talk about limited edition!) went out to series subscribers, and any leftover copies disappeared pretty much immediately. If you got one of these, consider yourself pretty lucky!

Next, I was asked to put together an extreme music playlist for the mighty Decibel magazine, for their regular feature, Tales From the Metalnomicon. I jumped at the chance, and in the process, realized my list was taking shape in '90s-centric form. So I leaned into that, and assembled a group of 9 songs from the '90s, including stuff from Carcass, Godflesh, Morbid Angel, and Skinny Puppy, among others, while Shawn Macomber from Decibel had some incredibly nice things to say about my fiction. You can check out the entire article and listen to the music here.

And finally, this past weekend, my next book, Crazytimes, was announced. Here’s the synopsis:

You wake up Monday morning and everyone is crazy. Everyone was already crazy, though, right? But somehow things are worse today. People are angry, throwing chairs out of office windows, eating rocks, violently scratching their necks, and running naked through the streets. They’re killing each other for no reason and laughing through the carnage. The whole city is like this. And meteors are falling from the hazy skies above. How are you going to survive? Do you even want to? This isn’t just another manic Monday. This is Crazytimes.

If that sounds like your kind of thing, the ebook is up for preorder now, and will be unleashed upon this crazy world through Grindhouse Press, alongside the paperback, on May 19. I’m excited for people to read it, and I hope you’ll consider picking up a copy.

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Kindle Sale!


Hi everyone. I hope you’re all staying safe, staying inside, and staying healthy. I just wanted to pop in here and let you know that the Kindle versions of all my books are currently just .99 - in both the US and UK Amazon stores. The sale lasts through this weekend (give or take a few hours, depending on where you are in the world), so get yourself something to read, sit back, and enjoy. Please spread the word, post reviews, and most importantly, don’t forget to wash your hands!

Triple Axe: US / UK
Slices: US / UK
SuperGhost: US / UK

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

20Q7A: An interview with A.S. Coomer

20 Questions, 7 Answers is an interview series for writers of genre fiction. Each author receives the same batch of 20 questions, but they may only answer 7.

This week's guest is A.S. Coomer.

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What's your latest book, and how does it differ from your previous work?

My most recent published book is The Devil’s Gospel (Wild Rose Press), a thriller set in the rolling hills of eastern Kentucky. This book delves into religious fanaticism and wayward parental expectations, which makes it somewhat similar to The Fetishists (Grindhouse Press) as they’re both subversive in nature. The Devil’s Gospel isn’t quite as extreme as The Fetishists is in its methods though.

I’ve got two new books coming out in the next two months. They’re both different from each other and from the things I’ve had published in the past. I’m deathly afraid of standing still. The Flock Unseen (Clare Songbirds Publishing House) is my first short story collection and these four stories are about the thin line separating hope and loss, a step away from horror & genre writing. My next novel, my fifth, is unlike anything I’ve written. Memorabilia (11:11 Press) is experimental and deals with meaning and meaninglessness and the act of creation. I focused intensely on the prose and the way it correlated with the protagonist’s corroding mental health.

Do you have any creative endeavors other than writing fiction (art, music, knitting)?

I do. I’m a musician as well as a writer. I write and play solo as A.S. Coomer and with my band The Coomers. The Coomers just released a six-song live EP Live at MotherBrain, which was recorded without overdubs in a barn in Evansville, Indiana on a rainy night last April. I also compose and record ambient instrumentals and tone pieces. I haven't released any of these just yet, but that day is coming. I’d like to get my foot in the door scoring films one of these days too.

I also make visual art when time permits. I like pen and ink drawing and oil painting.

Who or what is your favorite movie monster, and why?

Godzilla. Godzilla because Godzilla, though Vigo the Carpathian & Gozer the Gozerian are neck and neck for second place.

Do you listen to music when you write, and if so, what? Is it different than what you listen to when you're not writing?

I do listen to music when I write. The style of music depends on the project. Right now I’m working on something very dark and heavy so the music reflects this: lots of sludge and doom. For Memorabilia I listened to a lot of ambient and instrumental music: composers like William Basinski and bands like Hammock & Explosions in the Sky. The music I listen to when I write is not necessarily different from what I listen to when I'm not writing. I tend to gravitate to musics with less words when I write but this is not a hard and fast rule. I don't like rules for the most part.

If you could invent a new sport, what would it be like?

NASCAR but with hand and land grenades.

What was your greatest Halloween costume?

This year I got away with wearing a Batman onesie. The Coomers played a set at Flywheel Brewing in Elizabethtown, KY and it was probably the steamiest set we’ve played because of it.

What's your secret?

I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing in anything. Life is confusing and I’m out here just winging it. The more I look around the more I think I’m not the only one with this secret.

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A.S. Coomer is a writer, musician, and taco fanatic. A.S. was commissioned a Kentucky Colonel, the highest honor bestowed by the Commonwealth of Kentucky, for his literary and creative endeavors & contributions. Books include Shining the Light, The Fetishists, Misdeeds (forthcoming), Flirting with Disaster and Other Poems, The Devil's Gospel, The Flock Unseen (forthcoming), and Memorabilia. He runs Lost, Long Gone, Forgotten Records, a "record label" for poetry, and co-edits Cocklebur Press. He plays guitar and sings in The Coomers.